Have you ever looked in the Mirror, and wondered who that person is staring back? I have been doing that a lot lately. Realizing I am a little older, a little fatter, looking a little different than I did a few years ago, and can even go further back than that!
I remember a song from the Disney movie “Mulan”, that had a lyric that said, “When will my reflection show WHO I am inside”. I love that… I think there are so many times that we see ourselves in the mirror but the reflection isn’t who we are inside anymore. The last year in taking care of Stoney, I doubted myself, I wondered who I was, and what my purpose was. I struggled at times of KNOWING ME! I was fighting so hard for someone else, and becoming a warrior, or a coach to my best friend, that I forgot about who I was.
It is so easy to do when you are caregiving, to allow yourself to miss opportunities, or events because your life is dedicated in doing something that you believe in – LOVING and CARING for your loved one! I remember when my mom was taking care of my dad, who was a dementia patient for 4 years, and the grief she had in leaving him to spend a few moments on herself. She never wanted to leave or take a vacation, but wanted to be with my dad 24/7. That was her life, her job, her love. She was focusing so much on him, she forgot about herself for a time.
Caregivers need relief, or help… whatever you want to call it. At times they may feel trapped, but they don’t say anything or complain (or at least try not to). Their reflection of themselves in the mirror is blurred. From someone who was a caregiver, and at the end stages, did not want to leave their side….I was grateful for the help that came from my friends…who rescued me, and allowed me to have a few moments to focus, to re-evaluate and align myself to where I needed to be. It’s hard to ask for help, and most of the time we don’t, BUT for me, when the offer came I knew I needed to find ME… the strength that was in me, and feel the peace that was surrounding me.
Don’t lose yourself in giving so much of yourself…Don’t lose your reflection! Be YOU, take TIME, and remember that we are NOT super heroes, we are caregivers with a mission that still need to find time for ourselves.
Mirror Mirror on the wall, “I don’t have to be the fairest of them all, just faithful and true to myself”…..
